Letting Go

Francesca Battistelli is singing my heart this morning with her song I'm Letting Go.

Just in time for the new year the "new thing" has sprung up. The catch? You have to leap to get to it. This year I've had my fair share of large puddles to jeté over, and maybe even a lake here or there, but now... from the highest point of the tallest waterfall the Spirit is whispering, "leap and I'll catch you." And, I am not scared.

The butterflies are definitely swarming; I'm excited, curious, maybe a little nervous about my diving technique (as I have none), but ready. Or maybe more like, open. Open to the leap, and to where I'll land after.

Perhaps you're on a similar ledge. Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "That's what God has been trying to tell me!" I encourage you to trust Him. To surrender, out loud to His will for you. Take the leap, we'll take it together. I am certain that He will catch us, and when He does we can be certain that we are in the arms of the One who loves us better than anyone else above, beneath, or inside of this world.

Here's to acrobatics!

Ina

A Sign of the Times

Sometimes the anger comes first. Without any real clarity about what you're angry about. You simply begin to notice that your tolerance level is exponentially shorter and people start asking things like, "Are you ok?" Or commenting that, "You seem different, a little snippy." And then you know something is wrong as you feel a deep red anger build in your stomach and before you can stop yourself you're yelling that there's nothing wrong with you, and everything would be fine if everyone would just leave you alone. But somewhere inside you know things wouldn't be fine, and they won't. Not until you admit the truth; that there is something wrong. You're certain of it. In fact you have been for sometime you just didn't want to worry anyone by mentioning it. Especially when you don't even know what "it" is. You're breathless and red-faced, sweating and all of a sudden thinking, "Why am I yelling? Why am I so angry, all the time?"

So here you are, facing yourself. For the first time in possibly a very long time and you're wondering who this person is? How did they get to be this way? When did they get to be this way, and how does one get back to a balanced, sane version of oneself?

I would really like to tell you that I know. Boy would I like to tell you that, but honestly, I don't. I'm figuring it out myself, but I know this much; where you are is a crossroads. You either choose to continue to ignore all these danger signs you're encountering, or you can admit the truth out loud, something is wrong. You don't even have to know what it is yet, you just start like every great miracle or redemption story starts, with a sincere prayer from a sincere heart.

Gracious Heavenly Father I need You. Something is wrong and I am not sure what it is, but I know that You do God. You know all things Lord Jesus, including me, so right now I pray that You would show me myself. Guide me in Your way everlasting Lord God. Show me how to interpret these signs so that I can rediscover the joy that You gave me in salvation. And when the joy is restored I pray that you will teach me to share it with others. Thank you Heavenly Father, I bless Your name forever, Amen.

*For a helpful prayer point and reference see Psalm 139, specifically verses 23-24.

Here's to restoration,

Ina

A New Way to See

“When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, the Levites, bearing it, then you shall set out from your place and go after it. Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure. Do not come near it, that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before.” Joshua 3:3-4

I always thought that the main, and perhaps only, reason for there to be so much space between the ark of the covenant and the people of Israel was because God wanted them to avoid a situation like Uzzah's. But it occurred to me after reading the last part of this passage;

"Do not come near it, that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before.”

Maybe the reason God didn't want the people so close is because He knows that being too close can impair your vision. Like myopia. How can you see something when it is so close? Perhaps its about giving God the space to lead us.

There's some yummy food for thought.

Ina

Writing to Save My Mind

I am a writer. I knew this, but tonight I discovered that me without writing can be a dangerous thing. See, I have an overactive imagination. So overactive in fact that in the time it takes a normal person to have one thought I have already created a whole scenario and contrived the appropriate emotions to accompany it. I don't even always understand how far the scenario goes or how deep the emotions run until I am smashed back to reality by someone else's complete obliviousness. I have developed a habit of writing myself into people's lives.

I want to be clear, I'm not delusional (well not completely) I understand the difference between fantasy and reality, but what I learned tonight is that I have a little resentment towards reality. I mean it's always there! Staring you in the face reminding you of all the things you have to do; every bill, every bad habit, every mistake, every willful sin. Reality is your mother. It wakes you up from peaceful sleep and forces you to learn; it disciplines you, and makes you eat your vegetables. But dreaming/fantasy is like the super cool older sibling whose home from college. Everything they do, say, or think is so extremely cool that you don't bother asking about all the things that don't quite add up. "Hey sis how come, if you have all this excellent relationship advice, you've never had a healthy relationship?" "Hey bro how come you're failing all your classes and sprouting 'words of wisdom' on life and how to live it?" Kind of get where I'm going with this? Sure fantasy is fun, but who's gonna win in life following the faulty advice of such a fickle friend?

Again for clarity's sake, I am not saying that dreaming or fantasy is bad. What is bad however, is abandoning reality for either. I must learn to allow my reality to hold me accountable so that I can achieve and surpass my dreams. Cause let's face it, having what you dreamed is cool, but having more than you dreamed is even better!

So now my fellow imagineers, let's pray to find the balance in living a dream, together. Let us pray that God grants us just enough dreaming to keep us sane, and just enough reality to keep us grounded.

Here's to a sound mind,

Ina

Dear Ina...and Girls Just Like Her

Dear Ina,

Please don't do what you always do; find a boy to bury your passion in. That passion, the desire to pursue and create are not the problem. The problem is the way you're used to using them.

There is a season upon you. A season of great faith and blessing. You are going to learn the process of dreams to reality. It will be wonderful, it will be healing, it will be work, but don't let your fear of the challenges cause you to hide in the warm comfort of a crush.

Sacrifice the comfort of old habits for the promise of uncomfortable brilliance. Shine bright my love, hold nothing back, fear NOTHING but Christ. Do not apologize for believing.The ability to believe in the impossible is not a weakness, it is a strength, and a wonderful asset to a divinely led life.

You are on assignment here, and your God has provided, and will provide, every tool, weapon, and escape mechanism that you will need to complete it. No need to try and fashion your own. Man made shields won't work on this field. Accept your destiny of greatness. Do not settle for an invisible ideal, but trust God to provide a tangible blessing. One that will exceed every expectation.

Love and courage...

A concert! I thought you came to rock with ME!

So the fam and I decided to go and hear some tunes from one of the world's best bands, Switchfoot. God, the amazing comedian that He is, had other plans. In short we came, it rained, we waited, they played (4 four songs), and it rained again. And as I rocked out to my favorite band in the rain (oh yeah, I dance in the rain) I could hear God whispering "Will you always dance with me in the rain?" And I knew that he wasn't just talking about precipitation. Don't you just LOVE how He does that? Talk about worship. Woo!

Here are some pics from the adventure.

A Gentle Reminder

I sat and listened to Adam Young from Owl City sing "In Christ Alone", and I could not stop the tears from flowing. Below is what I heard through the tears, and I have a feeling that it wasn't just me God was speaking to. Listen, read, worship, and enjoy.

Beloved, why won't you understand that you are mine. There is no action that can undo or reverse who you are to me. You are always mine, and I am always yours. It is the one true thing, it will outlast the world and eternity. You are my beloved. Know it my heart, believe it, trust it. I know that your life is constantly changing, but I never will, this truth never will. You have an unending hope, in me. Through this life and beyond it I am with you, more even more my heart, I am in you. Know me, trust me, love me in return.

Abba